Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Me a school girl!

I'm so excited! Next week is the beggining of my second semester at SUU. I don't have time for more than 2 classes so it's going to take me a while. My new classes are Photography and english 1010. What I would REALLY like to be when I grow up is a Genetic Councilor! That's the next evolution! I want to play God ok. But for now I want to learn how to take perfect pictures.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Just one little reason I despise polygamy.

Howard’s father died last year, May 2007, in Telume Mexico. Apparently he had a small fan club there who called him “teacher”. He had been briefly married to Howard’s cousins mother (I’d love to say more about that but won’t!)But by that time their relationship was over and he was alone except for his followers. An ex husband of this last wife called me while Howard was out with the boys and told me about Paul’s stroke and that we needed to send money for his care. WHAT?! I felt like telling him that if they cared so much for him why don’t they get the money together? I was very angry that that was his purpose in calling. Well we went straight to the post office to get Howard a passport so he could possibly go be with his father but of course passports were taking 8-12 weeks to process. Howard was in contact with a couple of people who were helping his father, one of them made the comment that Paul must have done something really bad to make his 20 some children not bother to get down there. How strange for them to wonder about it. Number 1 was the passport issue. Number 2 was the abandonment issue. Howard was 3 when his mother left Paul. He was 6 when they got together for one day to create his little sister. Then Paul disappeared out of Howard’s life again forever. Howard was 33 when a fellow ward member, who did genealogy research, found Paul for us.
Last year we got on myspace and because of Paul’s death were able to find many of his brothers and sisters. Here’s the story I wanted to tell today. One of Howard’s new found sisters had said on her myspace that she wanted to meet all of Paul Faddis/Taylors children. Unknown to them, they had an older brother who had been looking for Paul throughout his life. Every now and then he would Google his fathers’ name. This one search he came upon that statement. Thanks to that sister we got to meet a brother who didn’t even know that they all existed, although he had wondered.
The last time Rocky saw his father was from an upstairs window when he was 3 years old as he watched his father walk out of the house, glance up at the window where Rocky was and drive away, out of his life forever! When we met Paul we tried to get information from him about his other children. He did tell us the names of 2 girls and a boy but couldn’t even remember a 3rd daughter. His wife must have been pregnant with her when Paul left. How else could a father not remember his child? Rocky and his sisters is one tragic story among several. Those children were left with bare cupboards and no money to pay the rent or anything else. Throughout their childhoods they were abused in many ways by other family members. They had no father to protect them.
Paul abandoned over 25 children by 5 different women that we know of. His own childhood was sad because his parents had divorced and he had then spent a lot of time with polygamous aunts in Colorado City and LeBaron, MX. So far that I know of his children all are good parents and although there are divorces they stay close to their children.
The other children’s stories are also bitter. His daughters with his 3rd wife were molested by him. His 4th wife and her 7 children were callously abandoned when the oldest son was 9 or maybe 10. They actually found him working at a convenient store years later and asked him if he was their father. He denied it. They left but knew he had to be lying because they recognized a gold tooth he had. So they went back and confronted him and He then admitted that yes he was their father. There are 2 Hispanic sons whom we haven’t found and don’t have any good leads for.
I believe over all that Paul’s children moved on and some even forgave him. Howard had always wanted to know his father. We were very happy to find him and also happy that he wanted to know Howard and his 2 sisters. Howard’s mom and dad pretty much immediately started a relationship again…. Over the next few years our children had a grandfather around but of course their relationship was tumultuous and couldn’t last. Especially as she and we discovered more about him and who he was, like the molesting. Also that he didn’t seem to have any remorse for the abandonment of all those children! When I first met him he told me about his garden he was leaving behind to come live with Howard’s mom. He said he was always good at sowing a garden but never very good at the upkeep it took to make it grow and be healthy. He never had the patience to stay around and reap the benefits of what he had sown.
It is true that a lot of polygamous men love their children and do what they can to help raise them but it is also VERY true that there is almost always some child who is left without a father. It also true that polygamy tends to cloud a mans mind as to who he is allowed to touch and whom he cannot. This is just one small part of my feelings about polygamy.