Mentally handicapped?

I have to get this off my chest! I feel like, (hmm no, I think) I have inherited a lack of intelligence and what’s worse; I’m passing it down to my kids! You wonder how I can be so rude to my family and ancestors by claiming it’s inherited? Well for one thing I can be completely anonymous here. But the main thing is that I’m pretty sure I’m being truthful! I could bring up multiple examples. Naa never mind. Anyway, I think my kids dad has at least as much and more negative DNA in his background. And naively we have 9 beautiful kids to continue the legacy with! I’ve started advising them to limit their procreation if possible. But especially, if they really want to procreate, to make sure they do their research on their intended partners! I think I’m pretty serious.
The thing is that I often think I have something I could communicate and I’ll have it all, you know, typed in my head. But by the time I get to the computer to get it out of my head I have forgotten the great layout I had thought out! Aaaahhhhh! It’s soo frusterating!
Honestly there have been times that I was sure I was a lot smarter than most people but lately…. I realize that it’s very hard for me to learn. Probably because I can’t REMEMBER! What are my options? I can accept who I am and live with my mental disabilities or I can work my brain out and pretend to everyone else that I’m smarter than I am. One is the lazy but relaxing way; the other will take a bunch of work and maybe lies. Sigh. I guess I’ll have to keep trying and hoping to expand what little I have.