Dear Travis
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you. I haven’t felt like communicating with anyone at all since Michael died. Plus I feel guilty every time I sit at my computer and do anything besides Howards office work or the kids home school! (Ridiculous!) I didn’t even send Christmas cards or pictures. I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time in there. I would never wish misery on you.
We’re all ready for a new existence. We don’t want the same old experiences again. Up to this point our families life has been basically hell. No more. We want to move ahead. Move beyond the poverty, beyond the drug scene, beyond death. This family needs help. We could have used the help of Michael, and you for that matter. Michael is gone but you are still here. That’s what you need to focus on, what YOU can do to help this family. Because if one of us gets ahead we all will benefit. We need YOU to succeed. We DESPERATELY NEED THAT!
My hope is that we can help you and you can help us. Becca is really trying to move forward and get something going in her life so she’s never in the same impoverished and desperate situation she’s been in for so long. She wants the best for you. She just wants you to find that without her being your main focus. Focus on yourself and what you can do for your children and yourself. Be the best you can be. Your family is still here for you. But we need more out of life.
I really can’t even describe how things have been since you’ve been gone. Just trying to move on and move forward. I’m sure you heard that Howards dad died? It’s sad to know you’ll never in this life see a person again! Howards aunt Diana died last year of cancer too. We watched her breath her last. Our dog, blue, died too. That was horrible! This year another aunt of howards died. She was only 49 and has a teenage daughter! I think it was a prescription drug overdose. Her funeral was the same day in Colorado as howards grampa’s in Sandy! He went to his aunts. I’m sick of death. I’m sick of poverty. I’m sick of drugs. I’m sick of sadness. I’m sick of struggleing.
Aurora is 17 and has a drivers license. Howards mom gave her Pauls old jeep Cherokee. The engine was bad so they spent at l least 6 months and at least $2500. on it. I think you were still here when that was going on. She is pretty lazy though and won’t take the thing and find a job! I would think maybe she is just scared but really, I think she is lazy! She has a boyfriend lately. He seems like a nice kid. I’m afraid he’s probably a muscle head though. We’ve only been around him once. I hope she gets her ambition back and gets ready for college.
Malachi is always a worry. We’ve let him grow his hair out way too long. (as soon as schools out I’m cutting it!) It attracts the wrong kind of friends and girls. Girls love him! Some of his friends were kicked out of school because they brought prescription drugs and handed them out. At least Malachi wasn’t a part of it! I have the hardest time getting him to do his homework. What’s wrong with them anyway? I’m trying so hard to give them more than I had! It really bothers me. I want then to do more with their lives than I did! And i’m so busy trying to give them the confidance to do it! Zach and Kiara are home schooling this year. That’s worked out pretty well. We have new neighbors who happen to have kids their age. They’re very mormon of course. Zeke and Emerik go to 3 Peaks, Emerik in Kindergarten and Zeke in 4th. Zeke is always behind and that’s terribly stressful. It really makes me feel like a crappy parent! Emerik I think is doing great in school, even though his first teacher tries to make me think otherwise. He has 2 teachers because instead of going half day he goes all day. I love the second teacher. She’s really a good teacher. Then there’s the babies, Thad, Quade and Rowan. They are very busy and noisy! I don’t have enough lap for them and someone is always feeling left out. Abd at this point I’m ready to do something else with my life that can make us some money. I just don’t know what or how! Also there’s a part of me that feels sad about not having babies anymore. I wouldn’t mind just having more! You have to try and understand, I’ve been pregnant or nursing for 18 years! That’s almost half my life! I’m addicted to it and don’t know what else I’m good for!
We are waiting to find out if our new water company is going to knock down our back buildings for a water line or if they’ll figure something else out. We found out that all our buildings behind our house are in the middle of an easement! That’s nice! And of course we’re still trying to add on but we know we can’t afford it!
Well, I know my letter is not funny in any way and I’m sorry. I don’t feel very funny ever. Life is SOOOOOO serious to me! I would really like to move somewhere we can make money and have fun. Aurora and malachi want to stay here. We’ll see.
Love
I’m sorry I haven’t written to you. I haven’t felt like communicating with anyone at all since Michael died. Plus I feel guilty every time I sit at my computer and do anything besides Howards office work or the kids home school! (Ridiculous!) I didn’t even send Christmas cards or pictures. I’m sorry you’ve had such a hard time in there. I would never wish misery on you.
We’re all ready for a new existence. We don’t want the same old experiences again. Up to this point our families life has been basically hell. No more. We want to move ahead. Move beyond the poverty, beyond the drug scene, beyond death. This family needs help. We could have used the help of Michael, and you for that matter. Michael is gone but you are still here. That’s what you need to focus on, what YOU can do to help this family. Because if one of us gets ahead we all will benefit. We need YOU to succeed. We DESPERATELY NEED THAT!
My hope is that we can help you and you can help us. Becca is really trying to move forward and get something going in her life so she’s never in the same impoverished and desperate situation she’s been in for so long. She wants the best for you. She just wants you to find that without her being your main focus. Focus on yourself and what you can do for your children and yourself. Be the best you can be. Your family is still here for you. But we need more out of life.
I really can’t even describe how things have been since you’ve been gone. Just trying to move on and move forward. I’m sure you heard that Howards dad died? It’s sad to know you’ll never in this life see a person again! Howards aunt Diana died last year of cancer too. We watched her breath her last. Our dog, blue, died too. That was horrible! This year another aunt of howards died. She was only 49 and has a teenage daughter! I think it was a prescription drug overdose. Her funeral was the same day in Colorado as howards grampa’s in Sandy! He went to his aunts. I’m sick of death. I’m sick of poverty. I’m sick of drugs. I’m sick of sadness. I’m sick of struggleing.
Aurora is 17 and has a drivers license. Howards mom gave her Pauls old jeep Cherokee. The engine was bad so they spent at l least 6 months and at least $2500. on it. I think you were still here when that was going on. She is pretty lazy though and won’t take the thing and find a job! I would think maybe she is just scared but really, I think she is lazy! She has a boyfriend lately. He seems like a nice kid. I’m afraid he’s probably a muscle head though. We’ve only been around him once. I hope she gets her ambition back and gets ready for college.
Malachi is always a worry. We’ve let him grow his hair out way too long. (as soon as schools out I’m cutting it!) It attracts the wrong kind of friends and girls. Girls love him! Some of his friends were kicked out of school because they brought prescription drugs and handed them out. At least Malachi wasn’t a part of it! I have the hardest time getting him to do his homework. What’s wrong with them anyway? I’m trying so hard to give them more than I had! It really bothers me. I want then to do more with their lives than I did! And i’m so busy trying to give them the confidance to do it! Zach and Kiara are home schooling this year. That’s worked out pretty well. We have new neighbors who happen to have kids their age. They’re very mormon of course. Zeke and Emerik go to 3 Peaks, Emerik in Kindergarten and Zeke in 4th. Zeke is always behind and that’s terribly stressful. It really makes me feel like a crappy parent! Emerik I think is doing great in school, even though his first teacher tries to make me think otherwise. He has 2 teachers because instead of going half day he goes all day. I love the second teacher. She’s really a good teacher. Then there’s the babies, Thad, Quade and Rowan. They are very busy and noisy! I don’t have enough lap for them and someone is always feeling left out. Abd at this point I’m ready to do something else with my life that can make us some money. I just don’t know what or how! Also there’s a part of me that feels sad about not having babies anymore. I wouldn’t mind just having more! You have to try and understand, I’ve been pregnant or nursing for 18 years! That’s almost half my life! I’m addicted to it and don’t know what else I’m good for!
We are waiting to find out if our new water company is going to knock down our back buildings for a water line or if they’ll figure something else out. We found out that all our buildings behind our house are in the middle of an easement! That’s nice! And of course we’re still trying to add on but we know we can’t afford it!
Well, I know my letter is not funny in any way and I’m sorry. I don’t feel very funny ever. Life is SOOOOOO serious to me! I would really like to move somewhere we can make money and have fun. Aurora and malachi want to stay here. We’ll see.
Love
2 comments:
we need an update...
Oh my gosh, someone actually read this! Well, Travis got out of prison a few months ago. I have only seen him once. My mother has helped him by driving him around looking for a job. He had to live at the "care and Share" until he got a job. My sister, Becca, needs him to get a hold on his life before she could ever accept him back and even then he may have done too much irreversable damage to the love she once felt. The fact is that I believe it was mostly his influence that got our little brother, Michael, involved with smoking, drinking and then drugs at the ripe old age of 14. Travis is living with a co-worker I think. Turns out that Malachi's best friend seems to know Travis because his father has given him rides to work! I wish the best for Travis. So far he has been very obsessive with Becca and has scared me sometimes. However he has completely stopped calling her and the kids lately. As for our buildings and the water company, they vry graciously decided to go around them! What a relief that was! Aurora's boyfriend lasted about 3 weeks and she seems to be going through a very flirtatious, ummmmm, scary time lately. Still having a hard time with Malachi's grades! Will it ever end? However, the younger kids are all in a new charter school that is based on Montesorri? I like it so far but it is pretty new to everyone including the teachers.
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