Howard's such a great unassisted birth partner!

I know most people just think it's entirely insane and most likey irresponsible but sometime in my 6th pregnancy I made a decision to have our baby without the help of a midwife, or anyone for that matter. The number one reason was money of course. (now I realize that if you're too poor to pay for the birth of your children you probably won't be very able to pay for later and greater expenses as they grow up either! But it is so much fun for me!)At the first part of my pregnancy with Emerik I had hired Liz Camp from St George and I loved her. I think we made a trip to NM around that time and I felt like I didn't want to spend anymore money. Then I read about other womens unassisted birthing experiences on the internet. (some of my most profound discoveries come from other people and are not my original thoughts unfortunately.) THe thought had ocured to me but I thought I must be out of my mind. I jokingly mentioned it to Howard and he just was all gung hoe on the idea! That shocked me and I told him NO WAY! Little by little I got more comfortable with it and then very excited. I learned all I could about the risks of birthing. (It's not as risky as you would think, or should I say as doctors would have you believe!) I had already learned that laying down is a ridiculous way to have a baby. I had had Zach and Zeke while sitting on the toilet accidentally! Kiara's birth was excruciatingly difficult and I was in the typical position, on my back with my knees up being told to PUSH! As Emeriks due date approached I definately had some fear. All the "what ifs" you could think of. I tried to spend most of the time in the bath tub because I had heard so many times that the water is soothing etc. Not for me really. Of course I decided that I REALLY had to go to the bathroom and promised Howard AGAIN that I would not stay there long and certainly would not have the baby there! Dang it! But think about it...isn't the toilet the most comfortable place to push? Not very sanitary and quite horrifying though! Since Emeriks birth almost 7 years ago this Saturday, I have done it 3 more times and it has been so amazing! Howard loves it. With the last 3, Thad, Quade, and Rowan, I turned the shower on very slow pressure and just stayed there the whole time. Of course it helps if your labor only lasts for 45 minutes like Quades did! or an hour and a half like Thads! Rowans was a little longer. Started about 7PM while Howard was still working in Parowan and had him around 9:30 I think....half to look that up. I was a little scared that Howard wouldn't make it! I did get out once to sit on the toilet but wouldn't allow myself to stay there. I LOVE shower births because all the yuckiness of birth just goes right down the drain! I guess that's why I don't like baths. It's really great that Howard gets so into the births and has been such a big part of them. With Rowan I almost did it entirely by myself though even though Howard was in the shower with me. I had thought I let him do the catching but I guess I did that but his hands were there on the baby as well. The minute I saw the little mas I just started laughing and handed him to Howard. Look, it's a boy! The whole pregnany I had told EVERYONE it was a girl! I havd been right with all the others. Lucky guessing I guess. It's not that I WANTED a girl more than a boy it's just that I knew that he was a girl! I didn't even bother to get boy clothes out for him. EVERYTHING was pink! It was so great! And No I'm really not planning another one! I'm planning to go to work as soon as Rowan is in school, maybe before!

Thad 2001 Quade 2005 Rowan 2007

Veterens Day

Thanks to all the men and women who have served and are serving our countries. Miss my grandpa Pete Blackmore. Served as a firefighter for the Canadian military in WW2. And thank you Uncle Richard for protecting freedom in Vietnam.

Halloween 2008

We let Aurora and Malachi go with friends this year. and the rest of us tried that carnival at SUU and then went trick-or-treating. Way too much candy even though we didn't do too much trick-or-treating! We had a very good time!

Polygamy ad

Oh my gosh! How do I get rid of that disgusting ad? I promise I really DESPISE polygamy!

Change

One thing for sure and that is that change is inevitable! No matter which direction we go in, everything's always going to change. Our new president, Barack Obama, will obviously bring about change. We just have to wonder if it's going to good change or bad change or indifferent change. Already change has occurred and in my mind it's good. The first change is the obvious happiness and peace I feel from the media who have HATED President Bush beyond reasoning! We heard over and over again how bad the economy was and yet it always seemed to be very strong. If this countyr is headed for outright Socialism than it's simply because there are more people who want that kind of country. And let's be honest, there are al LOT of people who need "babysitters" in the form of government help. Personally I have felt that we have just the right amount of socialism balanced with the right amount of freedom. Good grief, I can get help to feed my kids; get the medical care they need; educate them all the way through college if necessary! I can have them on the school lunch program (except my kids charter school that is). We can get WIC, free housing, help paying utilities bills. What have I left out? So what more can there be? Well, I've been thinking. Michael died although he desperately wanted to change his life. He tried to get off his drugs and was actually on that drug they give you to help you quite, (don't remember what it's called). I knew he needed help but truthfully, I couldn't afford to help him! I haven't seen any social programs to help drug addicts except prison and that was not an option for him. He believed he would be killed because of his race. My mother adopted Michael when he was a starved 3 month old from Mexico. I was 11. I went down to get him with her. He was the most amazing highlight of my life! She has always believed it was done illegally and she would be in serious trouble if found out. I don't think she is right. But what do I know? Would socialism have helped us? Him? Would socialism help my education deficit and social phobic sister deal with life better? I don't know. What I do know is that we are all family experiencing life together and we have a certain responsibility to each other. I do know that I will always look forward to whatever change is in our future and not fear change.

toxic waste

I think I have a toxic disposition. I feel so negative all the time. What's strange is that I have a relatively positive outlook on life. I like to think that most people are basically good, although they generally seem to be misguided. I don't believe in ANY doomsday prophesies. I know that at this economically disastrious time people all around me are talking about the "hard times that have been foreseen". Life has been difficult since man first walked on all fours. (well, before that actually). There is always going to be some trauma going on. Anyone can predict it. I stil believe that many of us will roll with the punches and our species will continue, or not, who cares.?
My theory on myself is that I am so dissapointed that so far Howard and I are the only people I've ever heard of, let alone met who believe and behave the way we do. So dissapointment has jaded me. I wonder why the whole planet of humans is made up of people who, 1 must have a prophet dictate to them what is right and wrong in order to behave moraly or, 2. athiests who say "to hell with it, there is no God or hell so why should I make any effort to live any way other than whatever feels good at the moment" Where are all the athiest and Deists who believe in cause and effect? Why are all Athiests and Deists liberal Democrats? Why do people insist that abortion has anything to do with religion? Is murder only wrong because God says it's wrong? If there is no God is murder then ok? My family need socialization! We need a church ok! I'm actually contemplating taking the kids back to the LDS church. I fear that my children are not as strong as I thought and cannot hold out against all the riff-raff out there telling them it's ok to be "bad". Maybe next time I can write a more positive note.?